Wouldn’t that be great? You know, it sounds like a great premise for a kid movie. Like Richie Rich, Beth said. Ah ha! That rang a bell. Blank Check (1994). Plot summary:

By accident, the 12-year-old Preston is given a blank check and when he fills in $1,000,000 – he is able to get it…

Preston Waters, the main character, was played by Brian Bonsall. I looked at his acting career on IMDB. To his credit, he also starred in Family Ties as Andrew Keaton. But Bonsall’s only credits after he turned 13 were as “Himself,” in classics like the 2005 TV mini-series “100 Greatest Kid Stars,” and a 2002 episode of “VH-1 Where Are They Now?”

Where is he now, I wondered. Scrolling down further, I saw a password-protected link that read: “Bonsall arrested for domestic assault.” My interest was obviously piqued. I googled that phrase and found the horrible truth…

Former child star in Boulder County Jail

Friday, March 30, 2007

A former “Family Ties” child star was arrested this week on suspicion of domestic violence.

Brian Bonsall, 25, faces possible charges of felony second-degree assault and misdemeanor false imprisonment after his girlfriend told police that he poured an alcoholic drink in her face as she slept, put her in a choke hold and threw her onto a bed several times when she tried to leave.

I reported my findings to Beth. Little did I know, she was busy doing her own side research on the director: Rupert Wainwright. No!, I thought. The singer directed a kid’s movie in 1994? Ohh. Rufus Wainwright sings, Rupert Wainwright directs. The latter’s Wikipedia entry even makes that clarification.

What kind of a director makes “Blank Check”?

Wainwright then started directing television commercials and music videos, working extensively with rap artist MC Hammer. He was behind the lens for several seminal rap videos including Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” and N.W.A.‘s “Straight Outta Compton”.

Yessir. U Can’t Touch This AND Straight Outta Compton. And Blank Check. Okay, now I HAD to learn more about Rupert Wainwright. Off to his website.

Let’s see…“Stigmata”...a remake of “The Fog”...ah yes. Commercials. Let’s see what we’ve got here.

Rupert Wainwright directed the Drunk Driving PSAs in which the cars are filled with alcoholic beverages.

Very cool. Beth sent me another link: a YouTube video of what looked to be Wainwright’s most-trumpeted video, a teaser for a 1996 Michael Jackson Greatest Hits album called HIStory that was hailed for its “cutting edge visual effects.” The ad aired in post-Communist Bulgaria, I believe.

This you have to see:

Yes, that is Michael Jackson revelling in pomp and circumstance for which Stalin would surely build a gulag or two. If you’re too lazy to watch the whole thing, just watch from about 1:18 to 2:00. That’s enough.

Rupert Wainwright had quite the prolific directorial career. Brian Bonsall, good luck with those domestic violence charges.

On top of it all, the Internet allows this sort of comment on the Michael Jackson video on YouTube:

MJordanMJ (1 week ago)

This looks cool! Kind of like Nazi Germany or Facism…

The whole world must use birth control from overpopulation, recycle all garbage and plant as many trees as possible. We must all use condoms, birth control pills, etc. to “Heal The World!”

Reduce overpopulation! more people = more problems and poverty.

WHAT.

GET OFF THE INTERNET. No, you too.